A word on the common pigeon

3:39 AM

If Germans are one thing, in fact, if they could be summed up in one word, it would be, practical. I believe practisch is one of the first German words I ever learned. I cannot tell you the amount of times I have heard the phrase “Aber, Rachel, es ist practisch!” or “But Rachel, its practical!” After living a year with some of the most impractical, happy-go-lucky, I’ll think about tomorrow, tomorrow kind of folk, the Germans are quite the shock to the system.

As they mosey through the town square, but I err already, as they walk purposefully through the town square, I am once again amused by just how practisch these people really are. A few weeks back I was in Franzi’s hometown of Viernau, Thuringen (Thuringen is the county directly north of Bavaria or Bayern) I looked out the window to see hordes upon hordes of the fattest, beastiest pigeons the world has ever seen, parading atop a neighboring roof. I yelled something to Franzi along the lines of “Hey look the rats with wings have found a convention center” bringing an all-knowing look from our favorite Germ. I was promptly informed that these fat little beasties are in reality the ugly cousins of the homing pigeon club and every last little obesity case is used for yes, you guessed it, practical purposes. This, more than anything struck home to me how very real German efficiency really is. If they can take what is essentially, the laziest, most useless creature one can find and turn it into a useful, productive member of society, well then frankly, my hat is off to them.

I must admit however, I have a soft spot in my heart for the fat little terds. A few months back in Belfast, Swedey got it into her head that the majority of Belfast pigeons were deformed and somewhat maimed (no doubt from religious bombings). “Just look at their feets! She screamed like a wiley old woman.” Well after this remark, I just had to know. Soon afterwards, I could be found creeping all over Belfast calling out to innocent creatures “Here birdy, that’s right, come over here, I just want to have a look at your feet!” in a way that harkened to dodgy old men pulling up outside of playgrounds in large vans filled with candy. This assuredly is one of the top ten ways to clear a crowd. And yes, I do realize I have just written an entire ode to pigeons. My word I need a job.

Yours truly,

The Bird Lady of Belfast