Once again I find myself hesitating to write what’s on my mind because it's one of those issues nobody likes to or feels they can talk about! Nevertheless, fumbling thoughts turn into prayers which form actions, and finally find themselves as words on a page. Somehow even though much has been written on the subject, I still sense a strange lack of resolution, an inner conflict one might say among very strong Christians on a particular subject, that is, the area of singleness. We have singles conferences, singles meetings, singles groups, single men and women desperately showing up (or sharking one might say ;) ) at churches and on websites longing not only to find “the one” but also for the instantaneous release from the cultural pressure they, or I should say, we ,are facing! Recently I heard some single friends talking about the comments they had gotten about being “still single”. Questions like “why are you single?” and “are you even interested in men?” or the “tick tock deary, you’re not going to be able to hold out forever!”

    But this really isn’t an attack against the people in our lives with these comments. Most likely they are the people who love us the most and want to see our best good and who long to see us well settled with a loving family.

The real questions are; do you believe the Lord is leading you, that He has led you up to this point and that He will continue to lead you in the future? Do you believe that He will never leave you or forsake you? Our Lord is gracious and compassionate….abounding in love. The truth they’re not telling us in this world is that He is enough! Whether you’re married, dating, single, divorced, heart broken or “facebook complicated”, He is enough and always has been! We don’t need to keep looking for the right one because if we’re honest with ourselves, some of the greatest things in our lives have happened only because He gave us the opportunities. He will open the doors; we need only to walk through them. While there is a lot of truth in the whole “wait for me” movement, (waiting for the right spouse in physical and spiritual purity), shouldn’t we firstly be waiting on the Lord? If you’ve ever felt the warm truth of His love, you know that there is no earthly comparison. Are we looking for the pearl of great price or only shiny rhinestones?

    But while pointing the finger, I feel it turn back around on myself and I must honestly admit that this battle has also been mine most especially during the past 2 years. The lessons learned in the desert of loneliness and seeming desolation, the nights wrought with tears, and the slow realization of my complete and utter distrust of my King and His plans for me have caused wreckage in my soul the envy of any titanic. And it is out of this complete brokenness that I speak to you as He has spoken to me across the winds and the waves because I believe a lot of you are broken too. There is much bitterness in our hearts towards God when we feel He has called us to a harder path than those of our companions and oftentimes a deep questioning of everything about ourselves. What I’d like to say is that there’s also joy and there most certainly is a reason! “To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven”. Do you realize what you’ve been offered in this time? The King of the universe longs to spend more time with you! He wants your undivided attention as would any lover. He has given you those moments to walk with Him under the very stars He created as He whispers into your heart the plans that He has for your life, those plans that are so good, to prosper you and not to harm you. And in those moments when your heart is aching and breaking and you picture yourself with years of seeming aloneness stretching out before you like an endless sea, He will come to you, wrap you in His arms and hold your heart in ways no one else can.

     “They that wait on the Lord will renew their strength.” Well, the truth is, when you find yourself with a husband and five kids, strength is one thing you’re surely gonna need.

The last thing I want to question is our motives. This one’s the bullet to bite. Why is it that you really want that boyfriend/girlfriend? I’m all for the verse “Trust in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart,” but so far neither the sports car nor the prince have come a knockin’ at the door! One of the most yucky things I have discovered in my heart is that a lot of these desires were just plain selfish. I want the guy to fit into all my preconceived notions of perfect manhood because frankly, that would make me quite comfortable and I don’t want to have to change one bit because the perfect guy will think I’m perfect! If you’ve been in a relationship with someone who thinks you’re perfect, you know that sooner or later they’ll discover the ugly truth. And if you’ve met a perfect person aside from the son of God, I would think they would be disgusting to live with in all of that wretched, unattainable perfection.

     To loosely hang together all of these seemingly scattered thoughts, I want to encourage all of you, and remind myself to seek Him in a time in which  He may be found no matter what your current circumstances or state of mind. What better time than now?

~Rachel