I Kissed Dating Hello

10:39 PM

     Last month I did something unthinkable as a Christian.....I went on a date. That's right. A guy called me, asked me out in a straightforward manner, and picked me up to go out on an actual date. Immediately I began looking for signs of a blood moon. Honestly, it wasn't anything too exciting. As we were both from out of town, we went to the only real place to go in a small town in Wyoming, the local cowboy restaurant. It was an old place, with a big, old fashioned bar where Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid used to hang out. As we walked in, everyone in the room stopped to watch mouths agape. Out of towners weren't too big in this place. I wholeheartedly wished I had been carrying a firearm to whip out casually with a snarling, "this place ain't big enough for the two of us." The local bluegrass band played the last few stanzas of "Amazing Grace" and then the place pretty much emptied out. By ten o'clock it was just us. Staring down at us with glazed eyes like some kind of sick guardian angels, were the local taxidermic trophies. Inhaling slowly, with the effort of someone with advanced emphazema, I attempted to make some semblance of small talk while growing inwardly more awkward. For some reason, the more you try to act natural the less natural you come across. Our conversation went much like this: Boy makes awkward joke, I respond in a kind of maniacal hyena laughter (no doubt inspired by a stuffed beast perched above my head.) Strangely enough, after we got past the undeniable first date awkwardness, we actually had a pretty good time. In the course of conversation, I found out the guy wasn't a Christian which ruled out anything more than friendship on my end, but for some reason, he kept bringing up God. I am by no means advocating "missionary dating," but I found myself pleasantly surprised at his interest. 


     After our relaxed evening, he dropped me off. Immediately I ran down the hallway to my room and started praying. "God, are you and I okay? Are you mad at me for going out with this guy? Did I just do something terribly wrong?" After messaging a couple close friends mid panic attack, I started realizing something. I have a serious problem. I had just gone on one of the best dates I've ever had and yet, I felt as if I needed to get right with God by joining the nearest convent. Ruling out the possibility that I am, in fact, a crazy person, there was the undeniable reality that I'm another Christian who is seriously bad at dating.


     Most single Christian girls at some point in a normal conversation with each other start to bemoan the fact that they aren't dating as much as they'd like, if at all. I am one of the worst culprits in said conversation. Truth be told, we Christian chicks can be pretty scary. This date was different for me because, aside from my own personal inner turmoil, which is really just another form of stage fright, it was a very chill evening with a nice guy. He didn't size me up for marriage in the first ten minutes (that I'm aware of) and I didn't feel the pressure that this had to work out; as a matter of fact, it didn't. I've long wondered how the non-Christian dating world compared to ours and now I was getting an inside scoop. I love that Christians try to honor each other on dates. I love that Christian guys go out of their way to be kind. Even as friends, Christian guys are almost always trying to protect the girls around them. In that respect, they've totally nailed it.  Unfortunately, to make a sweeping generality, we  Christians stink at dating. As girls especially, we stress out to the max. As soon as I get asked out I'm ready to be packing heat in my hand bag should anything go wrong. My guard is up so high, you'd have to be a mountain climber to get anywhere. (And there go my dates for the rest of the year ;-)) And poor Christian dudes are under the impression that if they take a girl to coffee they have to be dead sure they want to marry her. You don't, cross my heart.  If a girl expects you to bring an engagement rings to Starbucks, run my friend, just run. But really, it's okay to ask us out. It's okay to break up something you know is wrong. We respect you all the more for trying. 

     So, what did I learn from my one off date in a Podunk town with a wild stuffed buffalo looking steadily on? To chill out. To have fun. To not jump to conclusions. To just enjoy getting to know somebody new for the sake of it. So go on out there you crazy kids and have some fun! In the words of Nike, "Just do it."

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  1. Hey there! I came across this from the Relevant post you commented on, lol. Anyway, this is so great! I can TOTALLY relate! I grew up in an I Kissed Dating Goodbye culture and there was this panic that came over me anytime a male even SPOKE to me like, "I hope I don't flirt with him" or "Maybe he'll talk to my dad!" :P

    I recently joined Tinder (dont be judgin) and have gone on several coffee dates with nice men (unbelievers) and after the first one I called my best friend on the phone crying, "Am I crazy!? Do I need to repent??? Was I in sin?"

    I realized that there's really no harm in just getting to know someone and enjoy a meal and good conversation!!!

    1. Hey! Thanks for stopping by :-). Yes!! I totally get it. Palms sweating, heart racing, instant compulsion to throw up.... That's awesome you've had some great dates lately! I hope the Lord guides an awesome guy to you :-)


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